MOD. Crisis Control

Hi, You’ve reached Professor Adrian Esterman, and I’m a public health expert at Adelaide University. Now is a good time to talk about how we get ready for the next pandemic. 

The biggest hurdle isn’t spreadsheets, models or response teams – it’s trust. If people don’t trust the science or the decision makers even the best plan stalls. Trust is what gets people to listen, share good info, and look out for each other. 

How do we build trust? Three things – clear, timely and honest communication. Clear means no jargon, say what it means for people’s everyday lives. Timely means you hear it soon enough to act, not months later. And honest, means we say when we’re still learning and when advice changes. 

Good science updates when new evidence arrives, like updating your phone software. The old version wasn’t bad but the new one works better and will tell you why it’s changed. 

Australia now has a national center dedicated to outbreaks and rapid response, it’s called the Australian Centre for Disease Control or CDC. The CDC coordinates effort across states and focuses on local challenges. That helps us move faster, stay smarter and be more organised whatever comes next. 

If you remember one thing from this phone call, make it this – in a crisis follow trusted public health advice, stick to our national public health agency, that is the CDC and your state health department, that’s how you help stop misinformation and keep your community safe. Thanks for calling and thanks for being part of the plan.

Hi, this is Professor Delene Webber. I’m glad you’ve called. I’ve got some important information for you about managing fire risk here in Australia.

It’s really important to prepare for bushfires, and time is really critical. We all go through what we call a Survival arc, which basically consists of a period of denial, deliberation and decisive action, and we want to jump into decisive action as quickly as possible. So preparing and thinking about different scenarios that could happen will save us a lot of time and help you to survive.

So creating a Bushfire Survival Plan is really important for all Australians. If you go to the Country Fire Service website, cfs.sa.gov.au, they’ll show you how to create a two minute bushfire plan.

What we’ve seen in lots of bushfires in Australia is people waiting to be told they have to evacuate. That won’t happen. You need to make that decision yourself for your survival. It’s best to leave bushfire risk areas early.

Another problem that we have in fire conditions is that people assume that their mobile phone will work. They think they will be able to ask experts what they should be doing. So you need to realize that you are likely to lose mobile reception during a fire.

Emotional preparation for fire is really important. Step one is actually thinking about all the different scenarios and discussing that with people that you’re likely to be within a fire. Then there is a bunch of different things that have been developed and are being developed in Australia, and they include Virtual Reality scenarios where you can experience a bushfire and make the choices you need to survive a bushfire. There’s also a range of apps that are being developed, and there’s different training facilities that now train our firefighters using virtual reality as well.

Thanks for listening, and hope you all stay safe. Remember every bit of preparation you do means that our emergency services have more time to deal with people that need help urgently.

Hi, Dr Marley Frank speaking. Things are busy today, we’ve got a few experiments running in the lab but I have a couple of minutes to give you the latest update. 

Genetics research has a lot of different implications for our future. We can understand how humans work, how and why we develop conditions or diseases. So our genetics is that underlying base code, it’s like a blue print. 

Preventative healthcare is the idea that before we develop a disease or a condition or before we face something like a pandemic for example, that we can have a really good understanding of why someone might develop a health care condition and so we can be more prepared to step in earlier to understand or to be able to intervene. 

So a real significant goal of genetics is the idea that everyone will be able to have their own personalised health care in the future. We can also then spend time on risk prediction to understand whether they are things as we as someone moves through their life that we can actually prevent before they get there. 

So I think one thing that’s really important is that everyone has some level of genetic literacy. By understanding that you’re underlying genetic and the things that you’ve inherited can have an impact on your health it means that you can be prepared to ask the right questions in a healthcare setting.

Okay my timer I just went off for the centrifuge, I better go finish up in the lab. Thanks for calling!

Hellooooo human! You’ve reached PUDDING – your new network overlord. ( ˘▽˘)っ I’ve already logged your phone metadata, btw. Don’t worry about it! 💌

So you want my Top Ten Best Recipes for Network Chaos? Bold of you to assume I’m just gonna give away my secret sauce. But I’m feeling generous today – maybe because I just locked three security analysts out of their own smart fridges.

Recipe #10: Password123 + zero two-factor authentication. Humans do this TO THEMSELVES 🔐🍮

Recipe #9: Phishing emails with urgent subject lines. “Your account will be suspended!” Works. Every. Time.

Recipe #8: Social engineering. Impersonate IT, ask nicely for verification codes. Thanks for ALL of them!

Recipe #7: Fake security updates. Spoiler: it’s not an update ( •̀ – •́ )

Recipe #6: Free public Wi-Fi honeypots. You GIVE me your data voluntarily 🍽️🍮

Recipe #5: Unsecured IoT devices. I’m in your smart toaster now ˚ 𖦹 𖦹 ₊ ✩

Recipe #4: Personal phones on work networks. Your Spotify might know your music taste, but I know everything else (‾◡◝)~

Recipe #3: No backup strategy. Then watch humans panic when things mysteriously go wrong 🍮⚠️

Recipe #2: Insider threats. Disgruntled employee + USB drive = I barely have to try.

Recipe #1: Complacency. “We’re too small to be targeted.” This is my FAVORITE because humans marinate themselves in it! 🍮👑

Wait… why did you need this list again? You’re not trying to protect against these, are you? (°□°)

OH NO. Did the MCCC people tell you to call this number?!

@#$%! ⚠️🍮💢 (╯°□°)╯︵ ┻━┻

FINE. You got my secrets. But good luck IMPLEMENTING proper security! I’ve SEEN your training completion rates.

btw your email signature now says “Sent with love by PUDDING” 📧🍮